The Anatomy of a Present

As the countdown to the largest gift-giving holiday in the US continues (I’ve got my eye on you, countdown widget, and your cheery “53 Days!” message), I’d like to conduct a totally unscientific analysis of the item known as the present.

We all know it’s what’s inside that counts, so it’s time to go shopping. Whether from the comfort of your footie pajamas in bed or while out on the town, enjoy hunting for that perfect something for your special someone. I have some suggestions for this part, but they belong in a different post.

And now, we wrap!

You never get a second chance at a first impression, so make the presentation count. I would say the percentage of joy from anticipation alone goes up at least 25% for a beautifully-wrapped gift; add another 10-15% if that bow looks professionally tied. (Source: family and friends’ ooh-and-aah volume levels the year I spent three hours perfecting the multi-loop bow).

Roll out your lovely paper, grab the nearest pie plate or toddler to keep the ends from curling back up, and try to cut a semi-straight line. Measure twice and cut once — or, if you’re my father, don’t measure and cut once too many times and start again. Cursing under your breath is optional.

Now that your gift is swathed in its outer coverings, take your preferred rustic twine/shiny ribbon/string from the cat’s toy and wind it around the box a few times. Tie a simple bow if you really like the recipient, or tie increasingly difficult knots if you want some entertainment later (thanks, mom).

Bonus points for coordinating wrapping colors to the tissue paper, ribbon, and tags. Extra bonus for heavy, metallic foil wrapping paper, just because it’s my favorite.

Now that we’ve torn through our beautiful and thoughtful outer layers in frustration and thrown them to the floor in a heap for the cat to play with, let’s consider the box.

Some boxes come with their own predetermined meaning — little blue boxes, I’m talking to you — and need little else to build anticipation. Other cardboard constructions need all the help they can get. Loosely pre-folded along crooked, perforated lines, these department store packages take a whole lot of love to make them attractive trappings for what’s inside. I strongly suggest heavy usage of clear sticky substances.

If you’ve managed to fold, cut, tape, and tie your way to this point, congratulations. Take a step back and admire your handiwork, noting any crooked seams and errant ribbon curls (“Six. Inches.”). If your package looks like it belongs under Martha Stewart’s tree in her latest December issue, you’re good to go.

If not, you’re faced with two options.

Option one: gather up all of your gifts, make a list of which person is supposed to get what, and truck them all down to your local mall where a troop of friendly Scouts will happily wrap them all in reindeer-themed paper with matching stick-on bow for the low, low donation cost of whatever you have left in your wallet.

Option two: remove all attempted wrappings. Place item(s) in cute, holiday-themed bags. Shove fistfulls of tissue paper on top. Pour a glass of your favorite adult version of eggnogg, and pat yourself on the back for surviving another round of holiday gifting.

Welcome, spring!

As a native New Englander, I’ve grown up in a world that revolves very much around the seasons. We slog through tough winters, squelch through wet springs, sigh about humid summers, and stumble around the leaves of fall. Seasons also have nicknames — “mud” or “tourist” or “black fly” — that often describe the shared misery of the region in its respective states.

May typically brings with it the transition out of our winter boots and hats, and into shorter hemlines and brighter colors. It also brings another round of gift-giving occasions: Mother’s Day, graduations, weddings, showers, and of course birthdays (ahem, like mine!).

I’ve been asked more often than I can count to recommend a gift, and typically I’m happy to oblige. But lately it seems that my gentle questions — how old? style? hair length? current or dream profession? hobbies? — go unanswered, simply because the buyer is totally unprepared for them. One notable interaction ended when a customer realized she wasn’t entirely sure if this was for a high school or college graduation, and left to call her sister for more information.**

So if I may, a little advice from one who truly wants to help you select a perfect present, but needs a tad more information in order to do so:

1. Know the basics. Gender, age, and basic physical description help. Bonus points for hair & eye color; double bonus for skin tone.

2. Know (at least one of) the specifics. Favorite color, preferred metal type, ear piercings, lefty or righty, birth month, sports team, degree, hobby, pastime, career.

3. Know the occasion. While it doesn’t always dictate the gift, it can help with direction (and, to a certain degree, price point). Bonus points for details like wedding color(s), school colors or mascot, religious symbols, family traditions, etc.

4. Diamonds, pearls, watches. Repeat this, mantra-like, to yourself as you shop during this time of year. You’ll see these items placed front and center in advertising due to their immense popularity and widespread appeal, so you might as well consider them. Lockets, charm bracelets, and money clips are all great options as well, and often customizable to boot.

Friends and family (and perfect strangers), do you have a gift-giving conundrum? Ask away, free of charge! 🙂 Also, feel free to share a story of a memorable gift you’ve received — everyone loves a good tale for inspiration.

**As it turns out, it was neither: the giftee had been cast in the leading role of her school theatre production. The gifter returned just to tell me this and promptly left, saying she “didn’t feel it merited a gift” after all. Break a leg, kid!

Selective Sparkle: Holiday Gifting Guide Part 3

Everybody loves a trilogy, so I’m pleased to present the third and final installment of my gifting guide. ICYMI, head over here for Part 1 and here for Part 2.

I had originally planned a humorous little cheat sheet for what to buy each person on your list, but I honestly can’t say I could do it better than this post right here from one of my favorite industry blogs. So please settle in for a chuckle and read her post — trust me.

So here’s the Plan B post instead: a motley assortment of tips & tricks for buying that special someone a little special something.

— Those beautiful diamond studs you chose for your girlfriend of 6 years are lovely, but you might want to ask for something other than a small, square-shaped box that’s going to look a whole lot like the kind of box something else with diamonds might come in. Catch my drift?

— On the other hand, keep him or her from sniffing out a surprise proposal by using something other than a ring box. A good friend used one of those Danish butter cookie tins and placed the ring inside the center paper cup. She chose not to open the tin until dessert.

— A diamond will survive a champagne bubble bath, a pearl might not. Potential choking hazard aside, seriously consider your presentation before drowning your jewelry in your drink.

— Before investing in those five golden rings, try to get a finger size. Please.

— You know the holiday classic, “I Wonder as I Wander”? Don’t let that be you. When we ask what we can help you find, it’s not so much a sales tactic as a way to make life easier for you. A couple once walked in the door, glanced quickly left and right, then the woman turned to the man and said, “they don’t even have any pearls here! Let’s go!” Had we been given more than 3 or 4 seconds, we would have shown them the two large cases of beautiful pearls… located towards the rear of the store.

— Don’t let your budget hold you back. We respect what you want to spend, and can often find something your giftee will adore without breaking the bank. On the other hand, we are neither miracle workers nor magicians, and we can not, in fact, “make a few of those zeros disappear.”

— Many wish list items can be found at different price points: those diamond studs I mentioned could cost anywhere between $500 or $25,000+ so please ask before you cross an item off the list.

— While it is a customer service standard to under promise and over deliver, we’re pretty upfront when it comes to timing a gift for Christmas. There are some things that simply take too much time, and many vendors or other services get backed up or even close early at this time of year. We will always, and I mean always, do what we can for you, but we can’t control every factor (see above comment re: miracles).

— No, that $10,000 ring will not be on sale for $2000 the day after Christmas. Or ever.

— Yes, I really do think that pendant will make your mother extremely happy, especially since it’s a thoughtful gift. Yes, I already removed the price tag. No, I don’t recommend telling her you got a “killer deal.” (Yes, that was a real conversation).

— Please be patient with me if both point-of-sale terminals are in use and I can’t swipe your credit card for another minute or two and it feels a little warm in here and you forgot to call your nephew and the candy store ran out of fudge and the kids singing carols outside are out-of-tune. I will happily wrap your gift in beautiful paper with a big golden bow while we wait for the system, clean your rings and earrings until they shine, and validate your parking so you can continue to shop downtown worry-free. I will do everything in my power to make you happy and comfortable. I will wish you and your family a very happy holiday season, and I will hope you’ll wish me the same.

Coming soon to POKC: The Twelve Gems of Christmas!

Selective Sparkle: Holiday Jewelry Gifting Guide Part 2

Okay folks, I’m back with another Q&A session to help along your seasonal shopping! Today’s questions focus on some useful information to keep in mind when shopping so you don’t end up on some morning television’s Buyer Beware feature. This will be a lengthy post, because I feel that an educated consumer is a good consumer.

Are these natural pearls?”

Ah, such a seemingly simple question with such a complicated answer. We really, really love our pearls around here, and thanks to that addiction passion we tend to know a whole lot about them — which is a darn good thing, considering the huge breadth of pearl jewelry on the market right now.

First things first: almost all pearls are cultured. This means that the oyster that housed them as they formed was grown alongside thousands of others on a pearl farm. It also means that a person most likely took a bead, piece of shell, or even another small pearl and inserted it into the oyster to nucleate (or “seed”) the pearl or pearls that grew inside. In the wild, a pearl occurs when some kind of irritant (like sand) enters the oyster’s shell, and the critter inside builds up layers and layers of nacre (pronounced NAY-ker) around it to stop it from bothering the delicate mollusk. On a pearl farm, it’s the humans that cause the irritation, but what else is new. Zing!

Pearls are judged on the quality of luster, overall shape, surface smoothness, color, and matching (on a strand). The luster is that particular combination of opaqueness and translucence that gives the pearl its soft but reflective appearance. Because pearls are organic, their surfaces are often marked with dimples, pimples, lines, striations, and all manner of varying nacre thicknesses; baroque pearls are unusually and irregularly shaped and therefore have a more uneven surface, while round or off-round pearls should be smooth with few marks. On a strand, pearls should either match as closely as possible (one color) or maintain a similar overtone (mixed colors).

Freshwater pearls are the most widely available, and are often the least expensive because they are grown fairly inexpensively by the thousands (China in particular has developed amazing and innovative techniques, including growing hundreds of tiny pearls inside just one oyster). The most common color is white, and they tend to be smaller than their saltwater cousins. They are also sometimes dyed, a treatment that is not at all permanent and will fade or discolor over time. Dyed colors range from fun brights like purple, pink, and blue to colors that mimic those found naturally in more expensive pearls. A trustworthy jeweler will be upfront about which pearls are dyed and which are not, and they should be priced accordingly.

Saltwater pearls are larger and generally more rare than freshwater, and are frequently referred to by their signature growing locations: Tahiti and the South Sea region. Tahitian pearls have become interchangeable with “black” pearls, though the colors within that category range from bright peacock green and purple to grey-silver or even brownish. South Sea pearls are white, pinkish, greyish, or even a greenish pistachio color. Finally, my personal favorite, the golden South Sea pearl, is a beautiful gold-yellow color that often seems to gleam with its own inner light.

All of the colors mentioned above are absolutely and completely natural — the pearls formed with that color. In fact, that beautiful golden South Sea pearl comes from the Golden-Lipped Oyster! White pearls of both fresh and salt water are typically placed in a bleach solution to ensure evenness of tone, but this treatment is both perfectly common and permanent.

Tahitians and South Seas are more expensive than most freshwater pearls because they take almost twice as long to form, and they are only grown individually — one pearl per oyster at a time. With their variety of natural colors they can be very difficult to match, making beautiful strands difficult to find.

Bottom line: most pearls are cultured, which means farmed (or, as I like to say, grown on purpose!). They are strung on silk and knotted in between each pearl. As an organic gem, they are extremely sensitive to chemicals, changes in temperature, and rough handling, so they should be the *last thing on, first thing off* when worn. Dyed pearls should be far less expensive than naturally colored. Pearls are a beautiful accessory that can be dressed up or down, and have such incredible variety that I can absolutely find a pearl for anyone and everyone.

Why do I see ruby rings for $99 in some department stores?”

The short answer here is that you’re not looking at a natural ruby, you’re looking at a composite formed with crushed red corundum, colored glass, and lead. You might even be looking at a piece of glass with a thin coating of red lacquer. Is it a ruby? No, it isn’t, and a trustworthy store will be telling you that right up front, both verbally and in visible print.

Aside from the obvious deceit and fraud factors, these composite stones are bad news because they can’t be handled like regular gems. Stick one of those rings in a hot ultrasonic cleaner and watch it disintegrate. Try to size the ring or fix a prong and watch it crumble away or turn all kinds of ugly colors. Hit the stone in just the right place with enough force and watch a huge chunk fly away.

Bottom line: when it sounds too good to be true, it usually is. Disclosure is a constant industry focus topic, and the good places will be happy to educate you on exactly what you’re buying.

What’s a synthetic stone? What’s a simulant stone?”

A synthetic stone is formed in a laboratory but otherwise possesses the identical properties as the naturally-formed version. A gemologist can perform tests to determine whether it was naturally formed or lab-created, but otherwise the two are the same. Natural gems are more expensive due to their rarity and costs associated with mining and cutting.

Example: synthetic color-change Alexandrite is popular because the natural version is rare and difficult to obtain. The lab-created version is much less expensive but still possess the beautiful color-change properties

A simulant is any material that is meant to look like a particular gemstone but is in no way related or comparable to it.

Example: anything that looks like a diamond, but pretends to be: cubic zirconia, glass, moissanite, or even white sapphire is used to mimic the look of a diamond. To be clear, it’s a synthetic if it’s trying to be something it isn’t, like a CZ and silver ring that looks suspiciously like something that would usually come in a little blue box. It’s not a synthetic if it’s a step-cut green tourmaline — you might mistake it for an emerald, but it’s not trying to be one.

Bottom line: when in doubt, ask! Forgive the broken record, but full disclosure policies ensure you’ll never think you’re getting one thing but end up with another. Also, keep price in mind as you shop to ensure you’re really comparing like to like.

Once again, hit me with your burning questions and I’ll do my very best to answer. No query is too small!

Selective Sparkle: Holiday Jewelry Gifting Guide Part 1

As a person who is supposed to be in the know about all things jewelry, friends and relations frequently send their questions my way on everything from druzy to diamonds. I’m always happy to answer queries and offer advice, and that’s even more true during the gift-giving season (it’s also proposal season, FYI).

I’ve put together a little multi-part list of some of the most common questions I receive from people who really want an honest answer — I don’t sugarcoat, upsell, or otherwise spin my responses to turn a profit. Here we go!

What exactly is Tanzanite? And why should I buy it?”

Tanzanite is a form of the mineral zoisite and is found only in one location: the mines in the area very near Mt. Kilimanjaro in Tanzania. Its current deposits are rapidly diminishing, making an already rare gemstone even more difficult to obtain.Tanzanite in its natural form is a rather ugly brownish burgundy — the material originally found at the surface had been heated naturally thanks to its journey through the layers of the earth, but today essentially all Tanzanite has been heat treated. This process is common and permanent, and does not detract at all from the value of the gem.

Tanzanite is a beautiful colored gem that many people love for its vibrancy, range of color within the gem, and beautiful contrast when set with diamonds. It rates a low 6.5 on the hardness scale, which means that daily wear in rings or bracelets will cause the gem to abrade fairly rapidly. As an earring or pendant it tends to look best set in white metal. A strong vivid blue is the most valuable, but many people prefer the purple-blue tones due to their color uniqueness and complexity.

Bottom line: If the color is the true attraction and it simply must be a ring, try a purple sapphire or spinel instead — it’ll hold up better over time. In a pendant or earring, they’re divine. Buy for vibrant and vivid color, or if you a particular affinity for the plains of Tanzania.

Can you show me a 1 carat sapphire?”

Sure I can, but what you probably want is a sapphire (or any other gemstone) that is approximately the same millimeter size as a 1 carat round diamond. Gemstones are cut with very different stands from diamonds so they are almost never comparable in terms of size and weight.

Colored gemstones are cut to enhance their color, which frequently means they have a larger depth measurement and often are not perfectly proportional — at least from underneath. An imperfectly cut gemstone will enhance all the wrong things: you might see a section that’s too dark and/or too light, the color might appear muddy or pale, or it might be so deep or broad that it will only work in a custom made piece of jewelry.

All gemstones, colored or otherwise, are priced based on their carat weight. It is possible to have two rubies of comparable quality and length-to-width ratio be two totally different prices based on their individual weight. Gemstones also posses different densities, so two different gemstone types with the same dimensions may not weigh the same.

Bottom line: dimensions are important, not carat weight. A 1ct round diamond does not equal a 1ct round colored gem. Talk to me about the size and overall look you’re going for.

What’s the difference between precious and semiprecious gemstones?” (Otherwise known as The Gemstones Formerly Known As…)

Oh, how I detest this question, and it’s nobody’s fault but our own. For so many years, jewelers drew a line in the sand between the Big Three — a.k.a. emerald, ruby, and sapphire — and, well, everything else. The Madison Ave. geniuses marketed the hell out of buying “semiprecious” gems as less expensive alternatives to the rest, and the result was an entire population hell-bent on spending pennies on some gems and thousands on others for mostly arbitrary reasons.

There are many stunningly beautiful gemstones that are not card-carrying members of the Big Three that can cost far more than the big guys, but a quick internet search will still yield results labeling them “semiprecious.” The term was once attributable to gems that were simply more widely available than those labeled “precious”, but as mentioned above in the case of Tanzanite, that no longer holds true.

Bottom line: ditch “semiprecious,” try “gem with X color in Y price range.” A good jeweler will work with your budget and color preference, or at least be honest and explain why we can’t get something.

Now it’s your turn! Have a burning question about jewelry? Want to know more about a particular metal, gem, style, or the industry itself? Ask away in the comments!